The Conversation for Action September 29, 2021 by Belinda EganDo you waste your time having conversations? Your first impulse is probably to say no until you start to remember all the times you’ve regretted engaging with someone because they: Wouldn’t or couldn’t understand your perspective Often seemed to misunderstand what you were asking or explaining Took too long to reach a common conclusion or goal And you ended up wasting both of your time. As an executive, you’re always highly aware of the limited time and resources you have to ensure that your team is reaching shared goals. You know that “bogged down” feeling well of getting lost in the weeds during an important meeting, and you try hard to avoid it. But what if you’re the one who’s causing it? Growing up, we don’t get much training in the art of conversation. We typically learn how to communicate by observing those around us: teachers, peers, parents. But what if they also don’t know how to have an effective conversation? Sometimes, that’s okay. Conversations don’t always need to help people reach a goal. But in your career trajectory, a great deal of them do. As explained by Bob Dunham, creator of the Conversations For Action program, conversations generally fall into two categories – conversations for possibility and conversations for action. The former is when you’re in a “discovery and learning” phase with someone. These conversations can be playful, leisurely, and often flee from their point of origin completely. The latter is the type of conversation you’re meant to be having most of the time as a leader – strategic, goal-oriented, and focused. When you’re having a conversation for action, Dunham points out, what you’re really doing is agreeing on a shared story about the future, a common set of goals, and a way to move forward. A worthwhile conversation for action is made up of two components: Requests and Promises. Both components are straightforward in the definition. A Request is something you or your conversation partner ask of one another A Promise is something you or your partner commit to in order to reach a goal In practice is where we often fall short. The biggest pitfall for conversations for action is when one or both parties aren’t practicing the fine art of listening well. If a team member comes to you with a request, but you’re not engaged enough to really hear what they’re asking for, you won’t be meeting their needs – and in fact, could create more needs. Likewise, if you make a promise to a team member, but it’s not something they actually need from you, you’ve wasted your time and confused your team member. Conversations for action will meet the following requirements: Clear Complete Committed Trustworthy Connected Flowing without undue stress We know what these types of conversations feel like. They’re the kind that brings rejuvenated focus to our teams. They draw us in closer and help guide us to a common goal. It’s time to start having a lot more of these conversations for actions in your leadership. What can you do to start today?